I miss being bad. I miss the things that I did when I was at the stage of becoming evil. I miss being a bitch in my own way. Before, when I was evil, I wanted change to come into my life but now that it is happening, I just wanted to become who I was again.
Now, it feels like I’m losing fun in my life. I want to feel the lust, the fun, the craziness that I have before. But I know it’s wrong to feel that way again.. I have a new life now w/ the two persons that I love the most. However, I just cant help it that there are times that I want to be wild and I want to be the “black swan”.
Am I just missing the old times? .. Or is it just really my attitude? It feels like that there is that someone inside me that is trapped and wanted to get away from what is happening right now.
Is this what they called self control .. ? Or am I just being pretentious to who I am now?
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